How To Be Degenerate In Bear Country
By Diego Olea
While our entire narrative here at DFH is, as the name implies, degenerate at best, that doesn’t mean we’re dumb degenerates. If you want to be able to continue being a degenerate in the outdoors you gotta keep livin’ man. And the best way to keep livin’ is to keep personal bear maulings to an absolute minimum. Bear safety and bear awareness ensure that an aspiring degenerate doesn’t have their true potential cut short - keep in mind, bears don’t kill you before eating you. Outdoor activity in bear country is inherently risky. Although not the most likely thing to kill you out there (exposure is the big one - we can talk about that another time), it is the coolest and one of the most painful, and that’s why we’re going to discuss bear safety and how you can continue to be the best degenerate you can be
Conditions
First and foremost, the best thing you can do to ensure your safety is to avoid traveling alone in bear country. I know, you know of an amazing spot where you can throw a bare hook and catch 10-pound tiger trout every time, but you’re sworn to secrecy. Two things:
1. No you don’t
2. Most bear maulings/deaths occur to solo hikers.
**Of the 8 recorded grizzly fatalities in Yellowstone National Park, 5 occurred to individuals who were alone, while 2 occurred to individuals in groups of only two.[1]**
Now, I know what you’re saying because I know what I would be saying. “I’m built different and I can be safe on my own,” I say this knowing full well how great it is to be surrounded by nature all on your own. If you choose to go out solo, know that you are doing so at your own increased risk. Having more people in your group not only discourages a bear from attacking, but also, and maybe more importantly, alerts them to your presence earlier because groups are generally louder than solo explorers.
Let’s get into the mind of a bear. You are 700 lbs with an insanely thick coat. Do you want to be super active, carrying around all that weight, wearing that super insulated clothing, in the middle of the summer day? No, you don’t you animal. You want to be tucked away, in the shade, waiting out the hot sun. The safer (notice I said safer and not safe) time to be out is when it’s hot and bears are more likely to be resting. This in turn means that hiking when it’s cool out carries greater risk. Bears are crepuscular hunters, meaning they are typically most active during dawn and dusk. This does not mean that a bear won’t be awake during the day, they are intelligent creatures with their own personalities and are as apt as us to be awake at odd hours. They’re degenerates just like us.
Within the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem, bears are most active between the months of April-October. This does not mean that on the edges of those dates, they will not be active. These massive animals are (for the most part) eating everything they can to build up strength for the long and harsh winter. They are opportunistic omnivores, meaning that they eat almost anything they can based on availability and necessity. By availability and necessity, I mean that a bear who is well-fed and with a consistent food source (e.g. one feasting on whitebark pine moth larvae and cutthroat trout), is less likely to attack a healthy adult bull elk because the reward from the kill doesn’t outweigh the cost of the encounter (calories used in the hunt) considering the low necessity.
Do not assume that a hibernating bear is a safe bear. I wouldn’t crawl into a den and snuggle with a warm bear no matter how cold out it is. Bears are considered “light-hibernators” meaning that they can “wake up” (contrary to popular belief, hibernation is not sleep) and be quickly violent.
Gear and Storage
The most obvious piece of bear safety equipment is bear spray. I hear some of you, you think that bear spray is a waste of time and you instead choose to carry a firearm. Bear spray has shown to be effective as a deterrent in 94% of grizzly encounters and reduces the time and severity of an attack in the remaining 6% of encounters.[2] On the other hand, guns are effective in only 76% (rifles) - 84% (handguns) of encounters and do not reduce the time or severity of an encounter if they do not deter a bear.[3] To opt for a firearm in place of bear spray is not only increasing your risk of a deadly encounter but assuming you discharge the weapon in an encounter and you walk away from it, you’re now the person who has needlessly injured/killed a bear - that’s a big deal, especially in a National Park. Carry both if you must. Although we may choose to carry bear spray over a gun, we’re not going to forget our gun safety when handling and storing our bear spray. Here in Yellowstone, I’ve heard far more stories of bear spray accidents than actual bear encounters. Don’t point the spray at yourself or others, keep the safety on when you are not fully focused on it, and keep it maintained (make sure it hasn’t expired or been discharged).
THIS IS NOT BUG SPRAY. Do not apply this to your body thinking that it will deter bears, aside from the now burning agony you’ve put yourself through, you may achieve the opposite effect. Bear spray is meant to be discharged as a cloud barrier between you and the bear when one is approaching/charging you - the idea is that the bear will run into the wall of pain before reaching you and decide that you’re not worth it. Store bear spray in cool areas - don’t leave it in your vehicle in the heat of summer, if it explodes or otherwise discharges in your car, it’s time to buy a new car.
When you are actively carrying your bear spray, don’t keep it in your pack - you won’t be able to reach it in time if you do have an encounter. Carry it strapped to your body like you would holster a weapon. Preferably an area with less hand traffic - e.g. if you’re skiing, your hands are moving a lot by your hips and you could unclip your safety if it's holstered there (ask me how I know).
How to use it: Industry standard with the bear spray consists of a trigger, safety wedge, and grip hole (that’s what I’m calling it by choice). If you encounter a bear on the trail, quickly and *CALMLY* equip your bear spray, index finger through the grip hole, remove the safety wedge with your thumb while aiming slightly down from the bear - the idea is that the cloud rises so you want it to rise into the bear. If the bear comes into range (20-30 feet) discharge the canister by pressing on the trigger, also with your thumb, for 1-2 seconds. Repeat this process until the bear (hopefully) leaves and then calmly leave the area. Remember, once discharged the deterrent can become an attractant.
Bear bells….hmm. A potentially divisive topic. There are very few credible studies into the efficacy of bear bells, the evidence for their efficacy is circumstantial at best, and even the National Park Service states that they don’t effectively warn bears of your presence.[4] That being said, there has been some evidence showing that they can, and have had beneficial effects on bear encounters. Because of this, I believe it would be irresponsible of anyone to tell someone else to not wear them. I (along with the other degenerates) will still poke fun at you, but will also respect your commitment to being alive. Since we’re talking about them, their function isn’t to scare off bears (or to make hikers avoid you - I hate that overused joke) it’s to warn them that you are coming so you don’t scare them by coming around a corner or over a hill and surprising them.
Moving on from deterrents, the other important gear aspect is food/attractant storage. By attractant, I mean any non-food item that could potentially cause a smell that would attract a bear, (e.g. deodorant, toothpaste, etc). Keep in mind that bears are thought to have the best sense of smell in the animal kingdom, more than anything they will be attracted by scents. Different National/State Parks/Forests will have differing storage requirements for unattended food. Some areas may require that all food is stored in provided bear-proof lockers, others may require that you bring your own Bear Resistant Food Container (BRFC), or may allow for simple hanging storage. The most convenient is when bear-proof lockers are provided, however, in scenarios where you are required to supply your own BRFC, don’t assume that your trusty weekend cooler qualifies. If your product has an Interagency Grizzly Bear Committee - Certified Bear Resistant stamp, it is likely, but not guaranteed, that it has been approved in your area. Check if your cooler or storage bin meets the requirements of your local land manager.
There are many different methods for hanging food in a tree and so I’ll let you figure out the specifics. In general, hang your food at least 100 feet away from your campsite (cook this far as well, anything to avoid the food smell at your tent), with the bottom of your storage device at least 10 feet off of the ground and 8 feet away from the trunk. There is NO harm if you store your food farther or higher, in fact, I encourage it. Don’t leave food sitting out, try to keep crumbs and residues to a minimum, and pack out all waste. Remember, a fed bear is a dead bear.
****Study up on bear identification because it’s not as simple as black bears are black and grizzly bears are brown. Coloration is possibly the worst method of identification for these animals. Here are a few accurate ways to tell
Black Bear
No shoulder hump
Straight face
Tall-pointed ears
Short claws
Grizzly Bear
Shoulder hump
Dish-shaped face
Short-rounded ears
Long claws
This is not an extensive list of all differences between species, but these should be the most apparent and easily distinguishable.****
In The Event
You’re walking along enjoying a hike in your local wilderness area when all of a sudden 50 feet ahead of you stands a large bear. We’ll consider this basic scenario with relatively few significant variables (cubs or carcass present) to outline the best courses of action. Keep in mind that this is a super generalized scenario and simplified to such a level as to be near-offensive, all bear encounters are different, and advice for what is and isn’t effective may vary by locale. The only blanket statement that I am confident in endorsing is that the best thing you can do in any bear encounter is to remain calm. Every part of you may want nothing more than to run, but calm down trackstar, this will likely trigger a chase response and nearly guarantee an attack. Instead, here are some things that you SHOULD do.
Back away slowly
If you have a little degenerate with you, pick them up
Make yourself look big e.g. wave your arms, shake a jacket, be multiple people, take the high ground - you’ve seen the movie
And some things you should NOT do.
Do not yell - Instead, speak firmly in a low voice.
Do not make direct eye contact - show some respect
Do not immediately play dead
Do NOT run - I understand this has already been stated, but I felt it deserved a restate
Despite all our efforts, a bear has charged us and the encounter has turned into an attack. This is where that bear identification training has come in. If the bear attacking you is a black bear then it’s time to square up. Fight an attacking black bear with everything you got, this isn’t a duel with rules, this is survival. Go for the eyes, be loud, be aggressive. Improvise a weapon, no matter how simple; the efficacy of a rock may not match up to that of bear spray, but don’t underestimate a scared individual with a rock, quote me on that. keep fighting and don’t stop until the encounter has concluded. Leave the area quickly, but calmly.
If it turns out that the attacking bear is a grizzly, it is now time to play dead. Lay on the ground, either flat on your stomach or on your side in the fetal position. Protect your neck and keep all packs on, a large backpack can help protect you. Stay as still as possible, if you subscribe to a religion now might be the time to call in that favor. Only if the bear continues its attack should you attempt to fight back. If an encounter with a grizzly does reach this point, fight back with everything you can possibly muster. Once the bear leaves don’t immediately get up and try to escape as the bear may still be in the area, while it may seem counterintuitive, moving may trigger a secondary attack. The opposite may be true if you happened to fight the bear off in its attack, in this scenario it may be more advisable to quickly leave.
Lecture Over
It is the shared desire of all DFH members that everyone gets after it in their own degenerate way, enjoying the outdoors without fear, while remaining aware and vigilant. These practices, as well as the situational and conditional awareness that go into said practices, can help ensure your days of degeneracy continue.
References
Gunther, Kerry. (2023). Bear-caused human fatalities in Yellowstone National Park: characteristics and trends. Human-Wildlife Interactions. 16. 415-432.
SMITH, T. S., HERRERO, S., DEBRUYN, T. D., & WILDER, J. M. (2008). Efficacy of bear deterrent spray in Alaska. The Journal of Wildlife Management, 72(3), 640–645. https://doi.org/10.2193/2006-452
Smith, T.S., Herrero, S., Layton, C.S., Larsen, R.T. and Johnson, K.R. (2012), Efficacy of firearms for bear deterrence in Alaska†. The Journal of Wildlife Management, 76: 1021-1027. https://doi.org/10.1002/jwmg.342
U.S. Department of the Interior. (2018, June 29). Hiking in Bear Country (U.S. National Park Service). National Parks Service. https://www.nps.gov/articles/hiking-in-bear-country.htm#:~:text=Bear%20bells%20may%20be%20a,a%20bear%20to%20your%20presence.
* Disclaimer: This advice mostly comes from some guy who just likes to play outside. The Degenerate Fish Hippies do not present this information as absolute or definitive. Bear encounters can be unpredictable, and each situation may require different actions. Readers are encouraged to consult with local wildlife authorities or experts for more specific guidance and to stay informed about the latest safety practices.
